de vacances !!!!

Finally, Holiday is coming!!! lol...
I have waiting for tomorrow day since 2 months a go!! ><
My fam will be here, and we'll go to Penang...^^
After that, we'll stay at KL and going everywhere... :)
I just miss them so much...hope this holiday can help me to fix my communication with them :(
I felt this semester was so heavy and struggle for me...
Now I really need them to release all my stress before I'll face my exams ToT
Why there are exams after holiday!! =.=''

FINALLY!!!!

Great place for holiday!!! <3

This time, I really want to say thank you...
For all people who always beside me
support me, comfort me... not only that...
is also for all my sisters and brothers (Malaysian and Indonesian)
And not forget, thanks for my blog readers ^^ who always spend their times to read my blog... :)

I love you all ^^

I know life must be hard,
to make us stronger...
Sometimes it looks so easy to go through in,
but when it comes to our life already, it will feel so harsh...
For people who have problems, and feel that have miserable life,
I wanna tell you all...
You're not alone... :) Every hurts that you have is just a beginning for your better life...
What people think bout you, isn't important anymore, cause you can't control their mind...
What people believe, just let them believe :)
When you hurt or broken heart, just remember that there are a lot of people who can't feel love because they have no chance to love and being loved :(
When your life feel so hard cause of problems, just remember there are a lot of people who more suffered than you...
When you feel study is boring and all assignment is so hard and difficult, just remind your self there are a lot of poor child even can't write and read...
When you fight with your parents, think that there were a lot of child need their parents...

Life is beautiful when you look it in different way... :)
All my hurts, honestly it still stay in my heart, and I won't forget it...
But I just pass it to My God, cause I feel I can't hold it anymore...
I just can't walk alone...
I won't give up with this life...
If I give up meant I failed...
If I go on, I will be the winner ^^
Good luck for all of you >.<''

Happy together!!

Not forget, I want to say
Happy Aidil Fitri for all Muslim's friend ^^
"Mohon Maaf, Lahir Batin"

and

"Happy Holiday!!!"
for all my friends!!!

RECOMMENDED SONGS FOR THIS WEEK :

My day with Him

My life back to normal...
Such have nothing to do...
Those things come again to my head...
Make me emo-ing and keep thinking...
Struggling, Fighting with condition, I really don't know until when I'll be like this...
I become stronger already, and less cry...
But I just can't accept my condition...
Long time I didn't pray, not because of I don't want...
But I couldn't... I couldn't force my self to pray...
These upset things came, and just sink in my brain...
Make me no strength to pray...
Just ashamed to my self, just dissapointed with things that happened...
And still...hard to
LET IT GO... Just 3 simple words, so easy to write and say... but,
It's damn difficult to do... When I have courage to do it...
Those memories always come to my brain...

I promised to my self, those promises that never happened,
I will make it happen someday!
Doesn't matter who, I will make it...
Cause everything is possible! :)

Today, I watched glee again, I found that there were some parts that I missed...
Then, I heard this song,

I look to You, I look to You...
When all my strength is gone...
In You I can be strong...
When melodies are gone...
In You I hear a song...

I tried to pray, to release all my dissapointed...
And ask forgiveness cause I have ignored Him,
Ask forgiveness for my bad to my parents too...
I just really thankful,
He give me many problems to help me learn,
Learn to accept the conditions...
He give me parents,
That give me their best, and support me when I need courage and brave
Now I even really don't dare to say NO to them...
He give me parents, sisters, brothers...
Always accompany when I was struggle...
He remind me, there are a lot of people who struggle and hurt more than me...

No reason anymore for me, to ignore Him, and decline what my parents wants...
Him, my parents, and my friends are everything to me...
About ''he'' who will be come to my life,
I will welcome him everytime, I don't want lock my self anymore...
And still, no regret for the things that happened....

choices bout what life's about :)

Life isn't about keeping score. It's not about how many people call you and it's not about who you've dated, are dating, or haven't dated at all. It isn't about who you've kissed, what sport you play, or which guy or girl likes you. It's not about your shoes or your hair or the color of your skin or where you live or go to school. In fact, it's not about grades, money, clothes, or colleges that accept you or not. Life isn't about if you have lots of friends, or if you are alone, and it's not about how accepted or unaccepted you are. Life just isn't about that. But life is about who you love and who you hurt. It's about how you feel about yourself. It's about trust, happiness, and compassion. Life is about avoiding jealousy, overcoming ignorance, and building confidence. It's about what you say and what you mean. It’s about seeing people for who they are and not what they have. Most of all, it is about choosing to use your life to touch someone else's in a way that could never have been achieved otherwise. These choices are what life's about.

(Anonymous) 

before and after :)

Finally, I had a new hair cut again...hehehehe XD

I didn't change it a lot, just make it layered and shorter...hehehehe.... ^^

Suddenly, I had a feel want to cut my hair yesterday...then I straight away went to The Color Shop saloon there.... :)

Before

After

Anyway, I really happy now... cause I could live peacefully already...

Finally, all things are getting better and better :)

I love all my friends and sisters ^^ thanks a lot!!

However, 6 days left!! Finally I can meet my beloved =)

Can't wait anymore ^^

But still, I have to start to revise back the whole chapters in my subjects for my final exam TOT

I hate exam, why need to study and study again =.=''

The recommended songs for this week :

regret to the max!!!

Just yesterday, I reminded bout him and write bout him, my 2 years ex boyfriend... Suddenly I dreamed bout him... and I wake up with fully anger everytime I remembered bout him. Please, stop bbm my friend!! You already have a new gf. We have overed since 2 years a go!!

Up to u, if u want to keep saying bout my dad...

Up to u, if u want to share our "perfect" life at past...

Don't blame my parents!

Cause you had done it!

Just keep praise your God...

Just stay in your "fire"

Just keep being a "leader"

I hate you so much!

Meet you is totally my unlucky... Love you is totally my stupid things that I have done... Be nice to you after break up is the most thing that I regret. 

You want do those whole magic, I don't care anymore...

I'm 100% sure that I never love you again!

I really wish my parents here now ToT

from deep inside my heart, I wanna say...

I learned a lot of things today!!! It made me understand the things that always make me upset last time :(
Parents, always know what the best for their children... They always know, who're the best to be together with their children in marriage life too... :)
Parents know, which one is good or bad for their children...
The problem is, they couldn't send their msg to their children perfectly, and made their children upset and angry only...
Become the only children, is the heaviest part for me in my family...
Cause their attention is totally for me...
Last time, I was crazy in love with a guy...
2 years I was in relationship with him... I went to Bali too with him. After we went back, suddenly my parents asked me to break up with him. No matter how I tried, my parents still didn't allow me to be with him, till finally we decided to have a backstreet.
Parents, have a strong instinct. They know I still together with him, and force me till finally we broke up.
I even didn't understand the reason, why?
But few months later, I found one by one what he did behind me... I started to realize what my parents have done for me, is the best for me.
Today, the history happened again, and I saw it just like a replay scene from other side of people's life.
Suddenly, I felt that God has slapped me to awake. He reminded me, how I really bad to my parents. Angry and upset to them, after what they have did for my best. Maybe, if I still continued with him, even until I married with him, I will regret until I die.
My parents never told me the reason why, it was because of they afraid I would sad and damn hurt.

Parents, have the feeling.... who will be the real couple for their children on future... Is a fact...!
God have chosen our soulmate, even when we haven't come to this world... And is the parents job, to help their children to find it :)
I just wish to communicate well to my parents, especially my dad. Since I was a child, I couldn't communicate with him normally as a girl and her daddy. Sometimes, I really jealous with other girls who can close with their dad. Even I jealous with my ex that my dad really like. Stupid? I know! But I just wish I was a boy, so I can communicate well with him... :(

FROM DEEP INSIDE MY HEART, I WANT AND WISH TO SAY...
I LOVE YOU, MOM AND DAD

CONGRATZ FOR YOU GUYS =)

someday, we'll gather like this again ^^

try to sleep now :) Good night ^^d

happy happy :)

For those who have nothing to do, u might play a lot of girl games in this site (although actually I wasn't that free) XD :

www.i-dressup.com 

Actually I have been loving this game since I was in high school. Last time, when we were done our task in Computer subject, we were allowed to open the internet, and games... So half of girls in my class like to play this... :) You also can make your own album and models after you make an account :)

my first model : ILONA! lol XD

Yesterday, I met all the seniors who came to graduate on this day :)

Although yesterday I was so tired and faint, but I really happy to meet them again ^^

Anyway, congratz to Deviani Angela B.A (Hons) Accounting in Finance and Kezia Desty Indriyana Diploma in Culinary Arts... All the best for your career and life :) I'll gonna miss you all!! Now I really hope I can graduate on 2013!! =.=''

Indonesian Girls ^^

I fall in love again!!! XD

I fall in love again!!!!!!!

Not with any other people around me, but I fall in love with F4 again!!! >.<''

These weeks I watched back Down with Love (Jerry Yan and Ella), and I also watched Autumn Concerto (Vanness Wu and Ady An)!! Suddenly, I sang their songs again! XD

I really in love again with F4...hahahaa... My idol since I was in elementary school... ^^

I really want to watch Meteor Garden again now!! hahahaha....

Before, I never like Vanness! I saw him as a player =.='' but since I watched Autumn Concerto, I became like him! lol. 

Please here back these songs.... There are some of my favorites songs....

joyeux anniversaire!!

Happy bday for my beloved country, Indonesia!!
Although in these 3 years I celebrated it in people's country,
but actually I really love my country.
I proud of my country, but unlucky we have a lot of PM who always corrupt people's money... :(
Hopefully, furthermore Indonesia will be a country without corruption, without drugs, and no more natural disaster...

By the way, there are a lot of things that walk through my brain now

Such as my business, my report, my exams, my feeling some more...

I really don't know how to market my business, since I stay at here and I need to open it in Indonesia. It's really confusing me! ToT

My report, I really hate accounting! and now I need to analyze Profit and Loss statement in my event...

Such just get a terrible headache for it :(((

My exams, I really scared bout accounting also! Accounting, Math, and Science are subjects that I hate the most since I was in high school. So now, I really worry bout it :( Talk bout accounting, my nearest uncle really pro of it, he even works in accountant company, such as high level of position. I wondered, why his ability didn't inherited to me?? ToT sometimes I could feel that he feel ashamed of me too...hahahahaha XD

My feeling, is the most thing that makes me couldn't sleep well at night. Many people advised me to open my heart for the new one. But what's in my head is, I just couldn't force my heart. Somemore I remembered one of my friend's advise, to be a career woman is better than headache everyday about boys. I just believed, the right person will be come to me. Someone said, guy who together with me wouldn't have a future...I will prove to that people someday, I will break all the curses... ^^

L-Z

I really lazy to do anything now!
Lazy to do homework, lazy to do half more report @@
Watching movie also lazy...
I really don't know what happen with me...
Just want to sleep and sleep whole days... :(

Anyway, 4+ hours left to Dirgahayu RI ^^
I miss to have a ceremony in my high school ><''
Now? no more....! =.=''

Anyway, I just started to open a business....heheheh XD
I felt that is long time already I didn't do any business, and I miss it :)
But I don't think that my mom will support me :P
Nevermind, I just want to try...hahahaha ^^

malades ToT

Totally not feeling well today...
When woke up, my asthma made me suffer and I couldn't sleep anymore...
Tried to do my report, but I got headache again. Some more the internet couldn't use again...!!
And now, I got sore throat and whole body feel so hot inside... ToT
I really need to take care my health now, some more next week will has so many activities :(
I must sleep early today...

Yesterday, I didn't feel like ghost day... =.=''
Maybe cause my friend accompanied me to sleep ><'' hahahaha
It's quite fun to have a friend who accompanies me sleep ^^

I really don't care anything now...
I just need to wait 2 more weeks :) The day that I'm waiting for so long...
Please come faster 28th August 2011 !!

P.S : I really hate people who DON'T WANT to do their PROMISE !!!!!!!! If can't, just say can't! No need promise!

ghost day @@

According to my friend, today is the ghost day for chinese people in here @@
My friend was scared in her room alone...so she slept at my room now >,<''
I only know about hallowen, I don't know bout this kind of ghost day =.=''
But, It will be fine today :) no worries (although I was a bit scared of this issues)

Actually, many things interrupted me yesterday...
Because of my assignment's report that hasn't done yet, and the exam schedule that super killing ToT
How come MOE and Accounting is on 7 and 8th September ><''
Is the most difficult subjects, at least give us some space to study ToT zzzz
Super sucks exam unit!!

Anyway, this coming 18th August, Deviani, Dianne, and Kezia will come here... ^^ long time didn't meet them :) Deviani and Kezia will graduated on 20th August...Congratz for them ><
I wondered, when I could graduated early =.=
I still need to do internship some more.... haizzz... super l a z y !!!

How much I love F-D !! XD

Friday ohhhh Friday....

Friday = Free-day!!!

I really love Friday so much!! hehehehe...

Friday is the beginning of the weekend! hohoho....

I have 2 days for holiday....Saturday and Sunday!

I hate Sunday because the day after is MONDAY! I hate Monday badly! XD

Friday is the day when I can spend more time to sleep and relax >,<''

And I could enjoy my collection of drama movies without thinking of assignment for a day! hoho

Finally, I finished my work for MOE's journal and the minutes for society...

I could pass it to DSA (department which has controlled all students matters)

I also could go to Night Market buy the chocolate marshmallow that I like so much! ^^

I really enjoy my relax day!! ^^

today, i want to sleep like those pikachus ^^

seule

"feeling", I don't know where I will bring it...

It just hang in the air, without landing... 

So flat, so plain, so numb...

I found my self lost in the feeling...

It might be the biggest sin for me, to love 100%. 

My mom always tell me, to not love people 100%... But I couldn't.

Maybe this is the punishment cause I didn't follow what my mom has said to me...

These days, my feeling totally become miserable...

People said, world is so small, I totally agree!

Few days a go,

I chat with a girl, and the unexpected thing is, she is my past-lover's sister...

I even don't know her, and she also doesn't know me...

Last only I know she's his sister... :(

Long time already I didn't contact with him, it's about 4 years a go...

Then, I chat with him through BBM, connected by his sister.

It just felt like chatting with a stranger...

Someone who was my best friend, and suddenly felt in love with...

He broke with his ex cause of this matter, yet I didn't know his ex is my friend too...

We were too complicated to be together, and finally I ended this fate with accept the new "love" last time. 

The "stranger" feeling....Will it be happen again to me at this time?

Hurt? Passed

Sad? Passed

Miss? Passed

I can't feel anything about love anymore....

Is it good or bad? hahaha....

Suddenly, I really treasured what I have now...

With or without him, I realized it's the same matter...

If I continued to sad and cry everyday, I will be DIE ! hahahaha

If one place remind me of everything,

If one song will remind me of him,

If one stuff can remind me of those memories,

even If I had met someone who totally looks like him,

AND THEN?

I just know that, I should continue my life,

I should continue my precious days,

and I shouldn't REPLACE him with any people...

cause He is He. That people is that people,

same face, same voice

can't indicate my feeling will be the same... :)

God will read our note :)

This song has affected my life so much, just sing it with faith from deepest of your heart...
For all people who feel so much weight that you need to carry on... Cause He never leave us alone, and we couldn't do anything alone.... :) Have a blessed life, all ^^d


NOTE TO GOD - Charice 


If I wrote a note to God
I would speak whats in my soul
I'd ask for all the hate to be swept away,
For love to overflow
If I wrote a note to God
I'd pour my heart out on each page
I'd ask for war to end
For peace to mend this world
I'd say, I'd say, I'd say

Give us the strength to make it through
Help us find love cause love is over due
And it looks like we haven't got a clue
Need some help from you
Grant us the faith to carry on
Give us hope when it seems all hope is gone
Cause it seems like so much is goin wrong
On this road we're on

If I wrote a note to God
I would say what on my mind
I'd ask for wisdom to let compassion rule this world
Until these times
If I wrote a note to God
I'd say please help us find our way
End all the bitterness, put some tenderness in our hearts
And I'd say, I'd say, I'd say

Give us the strength to make it through
Help us find love cause love is over due
And it looks like we haven't got a clue
Need some help from you
Grant us the faith to carry on
Give us hope when it seems all hope is gone
Cause it seems like so much is goin wrong
On this road we're on

No, no no no
We can't do this on our own
So

Give us the strength to make it through
Help us find love cause love is over due
And it looks like we haven't got a clue
Need some help from you
Grant us the faith to carry on
Give us hope when it seems all hope is gone
Cause it seems like so much is goin wrong
On this road we're on

If I wrote a note to God 

I went around place which has a lot of memories...

It really disturbed my mind...

God likes want to play with me, when I have back to my room, He more showed me something.

Something that quite weird, it's quite long time a go I didn't see it...

Is it a test? or jokes from Him? I don't know...

I just kept remind my self to not cry anymore! 

Thanks for someone who is accompanying me now...

Really thankful you always hear my feeling :)

Although you look so free to hear my story, but I know you had problem too...

I just hope all the best for you =)

I felt my life is like a maze, labyrinth 

Easily to come in, difficult to come out...

A lot of things blocked way & force me to stop...

But I know, I won't come out from this labyrinth if I give up... 

I need to "add oil" ^^d

Here, I'm still waiting for the end of this month :)

Faster come!! 19 days left ^^

long time I didn't emo already ^^

my stupid face =.=''

my fringe looks so weird =.=

Do I look like cry? @@

fatigués

fatigués is a french word for "tired". Honestly, I really don't know what happened with my body. Suddenly, I became more weak than last time.... So many illness I need to face... :(
And today, not only my body, but my brain suddenly also become so tired. Today, I have my Strategic Management test, and full classes.... Now, really no energy at all... ToT and badmood some more...
Maybe I just need to lockin my self in my room tonight, and BB OFF, tomorrow only I top up my maxis. I'm just T I R E D and whole body so pain...especially my stomach...Have been 2 days and haven't recover yet....arrgghh....


Such a bad day, I got problem again with Chinese language... It seems like I couldn't stop to learn how to speak Chinese... ToT 

Early of Mr. August

1st. Finally, one of my assignment finished!! I just left one more report ^^

2nd. I tried to watch quite old Taiwan Drama, "Autumn Concerto" yesterday....

As the result, I'm damn in love with this drama, so touching, so real, >,<'' even I cried and laughed by my self in my room.... I used my sleeping time, whole night to finish this drama =.= and now, I'm damn tired

3rd. Just went back from KL. Today, not as usual, we went there at 3pm, cause we only have 1 destination, which is Bukit Bintang >< Finally, we could refresh our mind a bit! hehehe XD

4th. Stomachache to the max now ToT hopefully will be faster recovered...

5th. Tomorrow is Sunday, I just thought want to go to church.., but honestly until now I couldn't find a church which is match with my heart...

should watch this drama!!

highly recommended!! ^^

canceled ToT

Every plans suddenly need to canceled ToT My holidays gone!!
But dunno why I didn't sad at all...
I canceled my plan to go Surabaya and Bali, cause I need to stay here for 1 week during semester break! haiisssss TT
But I saw the positive side from this, maybe God doesn't want me to remember and becomes sad again. :)
Actually is not that bad, cause my mom will give me something that I wanted for this half year to replace my holidays that canceled....^^ thanks mom....

Next, I still a lot things to do now >,<'' 2 assignments (1 almost finish), 2 presentations, and 4 exams...!!
I just need to fight with nights!! hahahaha XD Special thanks for my mom for always support me inside :) I miss my dad too.... although I can't talk a lot with him.... :(

Anyway, miracle happened to me!!! I'm not longer interested with clothes!!! I really hope it stays longer time. I really need to save money for something already!!! Argghhh!! I already set it since half year a go, but always failed! Hopefully this time I can!! heheheh XD

bad feeling!! ToT what happened??

Suddenly, bad feeling appeared in my mind...
I don't know what's going on...
I just hope everything will be ok...

Great to hear my parents are okay...
I wonder what happened...
Is everything fine?
God please bless every people,
Throw their problems and keep them in Ur guidance...
Don't put them in the dangers or any troubles, ameen....

My mind is very unclear now....

Welcome, August ^^

Finally, August is coming...!! Can't wait for 26 days more!! ^^
But, I can't be that much happy, cause August also means that final exam will come soon =.=''
First of August was a terrible day for me...
It was the first time of my life, I did an assignment and didn't sleep! This syndrome not only came into me, but also some of my friends... Some of them look like zombie already!
It was getting worse when I also need to face an accounting test!!! I really hate accounting!! I didn't understand at all, and lazy to understand too... (If my uncle read my blog, absolutely he will start saying me :p) I forced my self to sleep, although it just 1 hour (before I started my 'hell' study).
Finally, 2nd of August was quite be kind to me!
I passed my test already, and my friend told me the test for tomorrow also have canceled!
I could relax a BIT...>.< although later night I have to do another assignment too =.=''

But, I could get positive impact from my activities...
Finally, I'm getting busy! Maybe this is what I want, no need to think so much when I was alone :)
My laptop is my best friend but also killer for me....hahahaha XD
my best friend to watch movie, fb-ing, cam with my friends, and ASSIGNMENT!
On the other hand, it could kill me too! Too much sitting in front of my laptop make my eyes so pain and headache as usual @@
Talk bout sickness, still, I wish my illness could be recover ToT it's almost 5 months already...!! Arrgghhhh....!!
I just need to forget anything now, just need to focus on 1 more test, 2 more assignments, 2 more presentations, and 4 more exams... and 28th of AUGUST!!!!!!! <3