My day with Him

My life back to normal...
Such have nothing to do...
Those things come again to my head...
Make me emo-ing and keep thinking...
Struggling, Fighting with condition, I really don't know until when I'll be like this...
I become stronger already, and less cry...
But I just can't accept my condition...
Long time I didn't pray, not because of I don't want...
But I couldn't... I couldn't force my self to pray...
These upset things came, and just sink in my brain...
Make me no strength to pray...
Just ashamed to my self, just dissapointed with things that happened...
And still...hard to
LET IT GO... Just 3 simple words, so easy to write and say... but,
It's damn difficult to do... When I have courage to do it...
Those memories always come to my brain...

I promised to my self, those promises that never happened,
I will make it happen someday!
Doesn't matter who, I will make it...
Cause everything is possible! :)

Today, I watched glee again, I found that there were some parts that I missed...
Then, I heard this song,

I look to You, I look to You...
When all my strength is gone...
In You I can be strong...
When melodies are gone...
In You I hear a song...

I tried to pray, to release all my dissapointed...
And ask forgiveness cause I have ignored Him,
Ask forgiveness for my bad to my parents too...
I just really thankful,
He give me many problems to help me learn,
Learn to accept the conditions...
He give me parents,
That give me their best, and support me when I need courage and brave
Now I even really don't dare to say NO to them...
He give me parents, sisters, brothers...
Always accompany when I was struggle...
He remind me, there are a lot of people who struggle and hurt more than me...

No reason anymore for me, to ignore Him, and decline what my parents wants...
Him, my parents, and my friends are everything to me...
About ''he'' who will be come to my life,
I will welcome him everytime, I don't want lock my self anymore...
And still, no regret for the things that happened....